Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Quarter life crisis !!

Looking into a mirror and asking "Who am I?" is sort of cliché. (Remember the countless "Main kaun hoon?"'s in Hindi cinema?) I tried hard for ages, not to do that. But now here I am standing in front of a mirror and asking who am I ? Tricky question, I tell you, not an easy one to answer. I don't get the staring into the mirror part though. I mean, I look hard, peer into my own eyes until my pupils are dilated enough so that I could see the back wall of my eyes (not really). As if I would uncover some huge mystery only if I stared hard enough. Instead what I really end up doing is exclaim, "Man ! you have one of the most beautiful pair of eyes I have seen". I do.
Bingo! here I come to the quarter life crisis part. My crisis is not that I don't have a career yet (and neither a clue). Neither is it the fact that there is no "settling down" in sight for me. Though they are very pertinent companion issues. The crux of the whole problem is this "Main kaun hoon". Don't believe me ? Ask yourself. And worse, there is this timer beeping away in your entorhinal cortex (I don't really know much about this guy, just wanted to use a cool brain part name) and you got to answer this question before the alarm sets off. Damn! I am (almost) 26 and I don't know ki main kaun hoon ? That sucks more than you think. You see the problem is that at the 25 threshold, if you don't know ki main kaun hoon, the chances are pretty solid that at 50 you would not know that either, and then you will be in a mid-life crisis. Well,you will have a mid-life crisis anyway, but at 25 you believe you can avoid that if you do the right things. NOW. That is the problem with quarter life crisis. At 50 you can't do much, at 25 you gotta keep running. It is funny how you try to run away from 50 and yet are actually running towards it.
So coming back to my quarter life crisis. Some days I can laugh about it. Some days it sucks. Staring at the mirror helps, if you look at the right things (yeah dirty minds!). I have learned not to look at my waistline, or my hair on bad hair days, and pimples. I look at the eyes, they are nice. They will see me through.

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